I hate the start of my stories for the first several drafts, it takes me forever to get them where I’m happy with them – once I figure out where in the story I want to start.
Here, I’m still not sure. I’ve tried to pitch this several times and it’s not flying so I’ve redone the start. I’m starting with backstory/action from the immediate past, which I don’t want to show, but which I’m hoping isn’t too long and sets up the mood for the story. Sigh, we’ll see. With only six sentence would you want to read more?
Mona stared blearily at the cell phone ringing on her coffee table. An hour and a half was not enough sleep, not after almost getting killed this morning. The memory of the ground heaving under her feet, the cheek-stinging cold as she scrambled away flooded back, jerking her awake. Training my ass. Warder Smythe, like her, could see and manipulate other’s spells, but could not create his own workings.
Certainly not the set spell she’d barely escaped from, despite his claim the body-crushing stone monoliths which had almost trapped her were a test.
So, yes? no? (suggestions?) Sigh, good news is this is just about complete!!